Books with a Letter Missing

In 2013, some clever Twitter user came up with the hashtag #bookswithalettermissing. This particular phenomenon resulted in some real gems, such as Here’s Waldo? (from Where’s Waldo?) and The Lion, the Itch, and the Wardrobe (from C. S. Lewis’ famous children’s book).

Just for funsies, I decided to do the same with the titles of books that I’ve read, each of which is accompanied by a synopsis of new the story bearing the altered title. The synopses pull material from the original stories, so they will make more sense if you are familiar with the books. So here’s to the [not-so-] fine literature that might have been.

1.      Jane Eye (from Jane Eyre by Charlotte Bronte)

This romantic drama centers on a dark, brooding man and his love interest, a “plain” clothes private eye named Jane. Jane’s amazing eye for unusual details takes her from the boarding schools of young girls to the open spaces of England in this tale of mystery and suspense.

2.      The Cure of Capistrano (from The Curse of Capistrano, the original name of The Mark of Zorro by Johnston McCulley)

A mysterious masked man has been wandering El Camino Real at night, attending to the sick, neglected, and injured of southern California. A corrupt band of governor-backed doctors feels threatened by this no-good do-gooder and seeks to put an end to the masked doctor’s work.

3.      Out of the Silent Plant (from Out of the Silent Planet by C. S. Lewis)

An Oxford don is tricked by his colleagues into taking charge of a strange new species of plant. Upon examination, he finds that the “silent plant” is full of alien creatures that, though exhibiting an understanding of his language, refuse to communicate with him. The colleagues, after learning about the discovery, greedily seek to recover the plant and force the creatures to reveal their wisdom.

4.      The Silver Hair (from The Silver Chair by C. S. Lewis)

Eustace and Jill travel to Narnia to save Prince Rillian from his obsession with his youth and good looks (the prince’s worrying has resulted in the growth of a silver hair on his head, rendering him hysterical). The prince is plucked from danger and order restored.

5.      Little Hose on the Prairie (from Little House on the Prairie by Laura Ingalls Wilder)

Laura Ingalls and her family move west and her biggest chore is to water the garden and the homestead trees. How can Laura accomplish this huge task daily when her only tool is a tiny hose?

6.      Mansfield Ark (from Mansfield Park by Jane Austen)

The sweet and humble Fanny Price refuses to participate in a poorly-rendered theatrical production of Noah’s Ark, the consequences of which are disastrous for the Crawfords and result in her marrying the man of her dreams. In an ironic twist of fate, however, the ark completed for the ill-fated drama saves the heroine and her family on her very rainy wedding day.

7.      Lint (from Flint by Louis L’Amour)

This is a Western tale about how a businessman from the coast defeats gunmen and cattle-rustlers using nothing but the lint from his pockets.

8.      Men of Ion (from Men of Iron by Howard Pyle)

Young Myles joins forces with some other squires to stop the bullying of the older bachelors. However, what originally began as a promotion of justice suddenly turns into extremely advanced scientific discoveries.

9.      The Princess Ride (from The Princess Bride by William Goldman)

A father begrudgingly rides on a princess-themed amusement park ride, but quickly finds that it is far more exciting than he believed possible. Filled with fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles, this ride is more than he bargained for – and probably not entirely age-appropriate for his four-year-old daughter.

10.  Rewall (from Redwall by Brian Jacques)

The peace-loving creatures of the Abbey decide they must re-wall their outer defenses. But, due to some terrible timing, Cluny the Scourge arrives on the scene and the construction plans put the Abbey in mortal peril. A young mouse with mixed-up priorities leaves the defense of his home to other creatures and roams the countryside in search of a mystical sword.

The Tragedy of Peter Pan

Peter Pan is a delightful adventure that conjures pirates, fairy dust, mermaids, and being up long past bedtime. Peter Pan himself is the magical boy of eternal youth that can steal you away from your window and carry you to Neverland. But, as the book points out, there is no such thing as eternal youth--everybody must grow up. Except one.

Peter Pan is famous for insisting that he will NEVER grow up. Consequently, he will also never mature. He will retain his youth along with his juvenile worldview and emotions. While it is wondrous to see the world through the eyes of a child, a child's comprehension is very limited, and their entire focus is on their own well-being. Peter Pan is extremely limited in this respect, and his millennia as a never-aging child give him a rather sinister quality.

For example, after he first meets Wendy and turns to go, she entreats him to stay by saying she could tell him lots of stories. The narrator tells us that Peter "came back, and there was a greedy look in his eyes now which ought to have alarmed her but did not" (Barrie 26). He wants Wendy (or rather, her stories) for himself, and he intends to take her. While persuading her to come, Peter "had become frightfully cunning. 'Wendy,' he said, 'how we should all respect you'" (27).

He does convince the Darlings to accompany him to Neverland. It's a long way, and they get tired. Sometimes, they fall asleep and drop out of the sky, and Peter catches them, but "he always waited till the last moment, and you felt it was his cleverness that interested him and not the saving of human life" (32). 

While the Narrator is describing Neverland, he notes that "the boys on the island vary, of course, in numbers, according as they got killed and so on; and when they seemed to be growing up, which is against the rules, Peter thins them out" (39). That is one of the most disturbing things the Narrator has told us yet--Peter kills off the Lost Boys if they get too old. Another rather violent suggestion the Narrator makes is in the discussion of each boy's unique, perfectly-fitted entrance to their tree-house: "if you are bumpy in awkward places or the only available tree is an odd shape, Peter does some things to you, and after that you fit" (56).

Peter's undiminished hatred toward adults is also evident throughout the story, from his ban on all talk of mothers to the moment when he deliberately takes as many quick, short breaths as he can because he heard a saying that doing so kills grownups (65). It is indicated that Peter was abandoned as a baby and afterward came to Neverland; his resentment and abhorrence for adults is obviously a result of this incident. It is ultimately this that makes him tragic: he can never grow up, and so he hates those who can and will never understand the things they understand or have the love they have.

All of these examples show that eternal youth, especially when that means perpetual childhood, is actually a horrible fate. Peter is only capable of a child's selfish love and seems to have lost his appreciation for the sanctity of human life. He has become extremely manipulative and cunning. He plays with others' lives casually and eliminates them when he is bored. Additionally, because of his immature state, he is incapable of the relational love between a man and a woman: "'You are so [strange],' he said, frankly puzzled, 'And Tiger Lily is just the same. There is something she wants to be to me, but she says it is not my mother'" (81). 

Perhaps the most tragic moment of all occurs when Peter is looking back through the window at the happily reunited Darling family and the newly adopted Lost Boys, and knowing that "he was looking through the window at the one joy from which he must be forever barred" (126). All Peter can do is forget and find new children, all over again.

Peter's whole personality is summed up perfectly by the Narrator's description of every child: "Off we skip like the most heartless things in the world, which is what children are, but so attractive, and we have an entirely selfish time, and then when we have need of special attention we nobly return for it, confident that we shall be embraced instead of smacked" (85). Peter can never grow up to be the one doing the embracing. And that is tragic.

You Before Me

Nearly everyone has heard of the book-turned-movie Me Before You by JoJo Moyes. If you haven't, you've clearly been living under a rock. However, the title alone says a lot--when I first saw it, I thought, "Gee, that's pretty selfish." And guess what? It is.

This book/movie is being presented to society with #liveboldly as its moniker, and tries to skim over the assisted suicide part. AHEM. That's right, assisted suicide.

The book is about mid-30s William Traynor who, because of an accident, is now a paraplegic, very nearly a quadriplegic. A young female caregiver is hired, and she soon realizes she is a babysitter to prevent him from attempting suicide again. He has agreed to behave for 6 months, after which time his parents have agreed to take him to an assisted-suicide facility in Switzerland, where they can legally get away with it. Once she learns this, our narrator tries everything she can to get him to realize life is worth living. By the end of the six months, Will actually has the gall to tell her that, while he does love her, she is "not enough," and he still wants to die. What a crushing blow, in more ways than one! First, he tells her she's not good enough. Then he adds insult to injury by saying he's going to kill himself, AND HE WANTS HER TO BE THERE. And do you know what? After an initial, angry refusal--she does it!

This is so horrific on so many levels, but for the sake of time I will only address the most prominent: Will's assisted suicide.

Ponder this for a moment: murder is universally recognized as wrong, isn't it? When somebody kills another person, completely unprovoked, they are punished and sent to prison. Why? Because it is wrong. No one has the right to take the life of another. In this, we recognize the value of human life. Why is it suddenly different when someone wants to take their own life? It isn't.

The Sacred Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith, in their Iura et Bona ("Declaration on Euthanasia") declares that "No one can make an attempt on the life of an innocent person without...violating a fundamental right, and therefore without committing a crime of the utmost gravity. Everyone has a duty to lead his or her life in accordance with God's plan. That life is entrusted to the individual as a good that must bear fruit already here on earth...but finds its full perfection only in eternal life. Intentionally causing one's own death, or suicide, is therefore equally as wrong as murder; such an action on the part of a person is to be considered as a rejection of God's sovereignty and loving plan. Furthermore, suicide is also often a refusal of love for self, the denial of the natural instinct to live, a flight from the duties of justice and charity owed to one's neighbor...although, as is generally recognized, at times there are psychological factors...that can diminish responsibility or even completely remove it" (Decleration on Euthanasia 5).

It is important to understand that euthanasia is an action or omission that causes death with the intent to eliminate suffering, as was Will's intent in asking for his own death. It is never acceptable to permit the killing of any human life. In fact, "The pleas of gravely ill people who sometimes ask for death are not to be understood as implying a true desire for euthanasia; in fact, it is almost always a case of an anguished plea for help and love" (Euthanasia 6-7).

Yes, suffering can be horrible and debilitating, but "suffering, especially suffering during the last moments of life, has a special place in God's saving plan; it is in fact a sharing in Christ's passion and a union with the redeeming sacrifice which He offered in obedience to the Father's will" (Euthanasia 7).

Suffering can help one grow in the virtues of humility and patience, among others. Absolutely every life is worth living, no matter how difficult to live that life is. It is not up to us to decide when we are finished. We did not give ourselves life; we cannot, under any circumstances, take it away.

If you are interested in reading the entirety of Iura et Bona, please visit this link to the Vatican website with the full document: Declaration on Euthanasia

Comfort Food for the Stressed Part 2: How to Choose the Proper Stress-Reading Book

In my last post, I propounded the benefits of stress-reading, specifically in contrast to stress-eating.

After reading my last post, I assume you thought, “Wow, you are so right! And smart! Instead of eating, I’m going to read something the next time I’m stressed!”

Well, at least I can hope you thought something along those lines. And after having reached this conclusion, I imagine you might have run into a small problem: how do I choose what to read when I’m stressed?

Or maybe you figured you could pick out the perfect stress-reading book on your own.

If you thought the latter, you were wrong (maybe. Maybe not. Actually, probably not. Discontinue reading this post if you are confident in your book-choosing abilities).

If, on the other hand, you thought the former, I might be able to provide some assistance here.

Voila!

 

The Rules of Picking a Stress-Reading Book:

 

1.      Approach your bookshelf.

2.      Consider the titles of the books on your bookshelf.

3.      Eliminate from consideration the books that you have never read before.

4.      From the remaining books, pool together books that you enjoyed reading in the past.

5.      From this smaller group of enjoyed books, pick a single title; ideally, this will be one that you have not read in a long time. This will be your stress-reading book.

Considering the Rules

I would not be surprised if you still had questions or even objections regarding this process. I hope to address some of them.

Firstly, why must one approach the bookshelf? Why can’t the bookshelf approach oneself?

Unfortunately, I cannot answer this question without going into a deep philosophical discussion of the nature and actions of animate and inanimate objects. Even then, considering the nature of philosophy and my lack of expertise in that realm, I would not likely reach a satisfactory explanation.

Suffice it to say: unless you have a magical moving bookshelf in your possession, the books will not be coming to you.

Alright. Now that we’ve gotten that out of the way, we can consider the more relevant concerns raised by these rules.

Why can’t I read a book I’ve never read before?

I’m not saying you can’t – but I recommend that you do not. I speak from experience.

First, every time I have picked up an unfamiliar book with the intention of stress-reading on some weekend (I’m looking at you, Jane Eyre and Sherlock Holmes), I find that the book is too interesting to put down. The school week starts again, and I find I’m putting off working on homework so that I can find out what happens next.

If you do not have upcoming responsibilities, take a chance on a new book. I hope it is enjoyable. It’s easier to put down a book that you won’t be dying in suspense over.

Second, picking a book you’ve read before means you know whether or not you enjoyed reading it the first time (see rule #4). I have found that it is harder to be excited about reading a book if it is not interesting or fun to read. You won’t want to invest the effort, and will therefore experience fewer of the benefits of stress-reading. Also, reading works you find depressing is not likely to improve your mood. By choosing an already-proven book, you’re removing the bad apples of literature.

Why is it ideal if I haven’t read the book in a long time?

This also falls under the issue of the book being interesting to you. It could be difficult to really get into a book that you just read. The book will [hopefully] be more intriguing if you can’t remember every detail.

In Conclusion

Ultimately, the right book will be stimulating enough to help you focus on something other than your worries, but not so fascinating that you can’t tear yourself away from it.

Comfort Food for the Stressed Part 1: Eating or Reading?

We all have go-to methods of dealing with stress. Exercise, coloring books, sleep, and movies are just a few weapons we have in our arsenal of stress-combatting techniques.

One [unhealthy] alternative many people – including myself – turn to is known as “stress eating.” I will explain to the uninitiated: stress eating is the phenomenon in which high levels of stress create a raging sense of hunger for unhealthy snacks, often of the heavily salted or sickly sweet variety. Indulging in the eating of such snacks results in a food-induced sense of well-being, at least for a short period of time. I guess they call unhealthy foodstuffs “comfort food” for a reason.

I hope it is plain to see how this method of stress management is not healthy. In order to fight the plight of stress eating, I propose that we turn to a different type of comfort food: comfort food for the brain.

In a word: books.

 

Those of us who are bookworms might find that digging deep into the bookshelf instead of the pantry might be a better method for de-stressing. To really dig into the issue, let’s take a look at what is involved in stress eating and in stress reading.

 

Stress Eating

I explained what stress eating is above, but I didn’t examine the underlying motivation for it. In my experience, I actually often do feel hungry when I have a lot weighing on me – I like to say that I’m burning calories with all my thinking. However, I suspect that I’m not really hungry. Much like bored eating, I think I stress-eat in reaction to certain feelings.

“I feel stressed, so I’ll take off the edge with this piece of chocolate,” I say to myself. I also think it is easy to lose some self-control when stressed, which might make it easy to overindulge in comfort foods.

Stress Reading

Much like stress eating, I find myself flipping open a book cover in reaction to feelings of stress. Unlike the previous method, though, I have discovered that stress reading can act as a “reset button.” The experience of getting lost in a beloved story is enough to take my mind off my problems and, when reading is concluded, I can approach my many nagging tasks with a fresh outlook.

Stress eating might make me feel better, but I don’t get so lost in eating that I can ignore the stressors of life for a bit. This is one of the real benefits that stress reading provides that stress eating cannot. And, let’s not forget that reading a book is guaranteed to add fewer calories to your diet than stress eating.

Do your body – and mind – a favor. The next time you are stressed, reach for a book instead of the munchies.

Next time: How to Choose the Proper Stress-Reading Book

4 Things I Learned from Watching Just the Last Episode of "Downton Abbey"

“Downton Abbey” has come to an end. The popular television show about a family of British gentry and their downstairs servants aired its final episode recently, and the amount of commentary was stunning. I can’t tell how many articles I saw last week written in some variation of the theme “Lessons Learned from Downton Abbey,” but there were quite a few.

Now, I have to admit: I have seen one episode of “Downton” besides the finale; however, I don’t remember much of it, so I’m willing to not count it in this, my list of lessons that I learned from watching just the final episode of the much-talked-about series.

Lesson 1: Hats are cool

Is it just me, or did it seem like everyone wore hats in Downton? There were hats EVERYWHERE. I noticed especially the head-toppers of the ladies. Many were the cloche style that I typically imagine when I think 1920s styles.

However, I noticed a variety of styles appearing on many heads. Servants wore hats. Gentry wore hats. What I’ve taken from this observation is that in order to evoke the classiness of a bygone era, I really ought to start wearing headgear.

Lesson 2: If you haven’t found a relationship by the end of a show, you’re a loser

One of my friends noticed that the formulation of new relationships was out of control in the last episode. If a character hadn’t found a significant other by the time the credits rolled, then it was good and right to pity them.

Seriously. There were wedded couples and sweethearts galore jostling for attention in the last episode. Servants and gentry, old and young alike were finding romance in the last episode.

What does this teach us? Things can’t wrap up nicely unless everyone has a special someone. What a great lesson for an audience that is likely heavily composed of single young women. Awesome.

Lesson 3: Lady Grantham

I found out who my favorite character is. It wasn’t hard to figure that out.

Lesson 4: If you’re going to watch just one episode of a show, watch it with the right people

I watched the “Downton Abbey” finale with several friends who had seen the whole show. They informed me about the sea of unfamiliar characters, their backgrounds, struggles, and development throughout the entire previous six seasons.

Though initially confused, I reached the last scene with a satisfaction that was nearly as complete as that of my friends. I’d also been saved the time and trouble of watching the entire series since my companions told me everything I had wanted to know. As a person who does not like investing time in television shows, I appreciated the simplicity of watching one episode and being done with a series.

It's All About Faith, Hope, and Love

Appearances are everything. Opinions are formed within the first 3 seconds of meeting someone, and those opinions are formed based almost entirely on appearance. Appearances influence our choices far more than we would like to admit, and penetrate much more than we realize. Appearances shouldn't be everything--but they are.

I recently read an article about a Harvard professor in her 80s who dyed her hair punk-rocker blue. This interesting individual made the point that beauty is youth, rather than "beauty is truth; truth, beauty" (Keats). Beauty should be truth. The Truth is beautiful. So why this emphasis on youth and staying young forever? Why are people afraid to grow old? Growing old means eventually they will die, and people are afraid to die.

I believe this is for two reasons. 1. In our current society, there is a lack of belief in an afterlife and a devaluing of life, and 2. people fear the unknown.

Pope Paul VI, in his encyclical Humane Vitae, predicted many changes in our society--that have come to pass--due to the use of contraceptives. It started small--just between two people--but once that door was opened, once one type of life became disposable, all life became disposable. What's to stop society from eliminating anyone it deems no longer useful? It is no longer just unborn children whose lives are threatened, but the handicapped, the elderly, really anyone society does not deem "productive."

Additionally, ours is a society that wants to take God out of everything. We try to remove morality and make decisions for "the good of all" without it. It's gone so far that our country no longer willing to acknowledge it is under God's protection in the Pledge of Allegiance (yeah, remember when they wanted to take that out?) Because of that, religion is a loosely held concept and many no longer believe in an afterlife. Instead, this life and this world is all you get. After that? Nothing and nothingness. You simply cease to be.

Now, tell me, if society deems the elderly useless and disposable, wouldn't that make you afraid to grow old? If growing old means growing closer to death, and you don't believe there's anything after that, wouldn't you be afraid to admit to anyone, even yourself, that you are aging?

And of course, people fear what they do not understand or do not know. This is part of being human. We don't know exactly what will happen when we die because, as Alfred Hitchcock so succinctly said, "One never knows the ending. One has to die to know exactly what happens after death, although the Catholics have their hopes." And that's the key: we have hope. And faith. Hope that our Faith in the Love of God will bring us to eternal life. That is both true and beautiful. That's the beauty I want to see.