There's Only One Superman

Our world is flawed and imperfect, just like the creatures that live in it. It can be sad, cruel, and unjust. Something--or someone--is needed to fix it. That's why we have superheroes.

Have you ever wondered why a flying alien with impenetrable strength and x-ray vision would be so popular? It's not that he's an alien, or even that he has such amazing abilities (although it does amp up the cool factor). It's because he uses them to defend the defenseless and right the tipped scales of justice. What about an Amazonian demigoddess who wields a lasso of truth and bulletproof gauntlets? She defends truth, goodness, and beauty--the things humanity innately loves and which make life worth living.

While Clark Kent and Diana are noble examples of our responsibility to protect human dignity and obey natural (moral) law, we don't actually need them to save us. The real superhero came some 2,000-odd years ago, and he only had to save the world once.

He did it paradoxically: without lifting a finger to stop his own horrifically unjust, unimaginably torturous death. He was--seemingly--weak instead of strong. He bled for us. He died for us. And then he proceeded to do what no other superhero could ever do: feed us with his very body, giving his own life to us so that we can live eternally with him.

There's only one Superman, and he doesn't wear spandex or a cape. He is a king, crowned with thorns, showing us his bleeding heart burning with love for us. He forgives us before we even know we need to ask his forgiveness. He pours an endless ocean of mercy from his wounded heart. And all he asks is that we freely choose to love him.

How could we not?

How Reading Fiction Helped Me Better Appreciate Struggling Through "Theology of the Body"

What is the key takeaway of JP II's "Theology of the Body"?

I didn't answer the questioner right away. How could I condense over a hundred audiences written by a theological genius into a single phrase? I could not, and admitted as much.

The conversation ended quite a while later, and my conversation partner at least seemed satisfied to some extent. The question got me thinking, though. I could never boil down what JP II is saying. Pshaw, I have trouble even remembering what we talk about from session to session. And that thought led to another question. Why do I continue reading and talking about "Theology of the Body" (TOB) if I never remember any details?

I'm a member of a Theology of the Body discussion group. The group has been meeting for three years now, and I'm blessed to have been a part of it for the last two. We meet once a week, start reading an audience aloud, and pause and discuss points of interest or confusion. It's great fun and has provided some quality fellowship time, but those perks can't conceal my inability to coherently articulate what we talk about in any depth.

So why do it? Why keep studying and talking and thinking about something if it's just too far beyond one's thinking abilities?

There are many reasons, but one in particular stands out to me. It is neither lofty nor noble, but I think it still relates to the truth, beauty, and goodness JP II talks about at times in TOB. It happened when I recently reread a favorite book from a beloved childhood series, "Redwall," by Brian Jacques.

Every book in the Redwall series contains riddles that the characters must solve. Sometimes the riddles reveal the location of hidden objects, while others pertain to key events in the story. The author obviously enjoys crafting elaborate riddles and walking his characters through a bewildering maze of methodical madness. I, on the other hand, am no good at solving riddles. They are frustrating. They take too long. They distract from the action that's coming up in just a few pages. And when I reread the books, I almost never remember how it was solved from the first time I read it. The characters inevitably come against the same frustration I feel.

And I, like the characters, sometimes feel frustration while reading TOB. JP II is just so brilliant. I don't know half the things he talks about, and when reading, I'm glad if I can come up with just a guess at what he's just said in a particular section.

But, like the Redwall puzzle-solvers, I know the joy of having made a breakthrough. Someone brings up a connection; another is struck with an idea; a third analyzes the grammar and gives a different perspective; a fourth looks up a confusing term in the back of the book; somehow, some way, the pieces start to fall into place.

We smile. We dig deeper into the text. We thank one another for helpful contributions. And, at the end of the meeting, we leave feeling that we have accomplished something - that we have struggled with something difficult, and made at least a little progress on the way to understanding Truth.

A random thought - but I hope you enjoyed reading it.

Will the Real Princess Zelda Please Stand Up?

Did you know that the famous Nintendo character Princess Zelda is named after Zelda Sayre Fitzgerald? True story. And Zelda Fitzgerald was the princess of the Jazz Age in her own right.

Hailing from Montgomery, Alabama, Zelda Sayre met F. Scott Fitzgerald--then a young soldier from St. Paul, MN--at a country club dance. They were together briefly, and then he was stationed in New York. They continued to write each other, but Zelda had refused to marry him until his first novel, This Side of Paradise, was published. It was, in 1920, and a week later they were married. What neither Scott nor Zelda seemed to understand was that they were two sides of the same coin, romantically egotistical in the firm belief that they were born to do great things.

Their rise to fame and the subsequent descent into alcoholism and the slow crumble of their marriage are infamous events, but Zelda's true role in Scott's life and writing is perhaps less well-known.

Zelda was an avid diary-keeper, and she had shown her journals to her husband. He promptly used these journals, as well as their own lives and characters, to complete his semi-autobiographical novels. Zelda is, in parts, Rosalind Connage, Daisy Buchanan, Gloria, and Nicole Diver.

In fact, Tender is the Night is essentially seen as Scott's take on the marriage, while Zelda had her own opinion published to little acclaim in her book, Save Me the Waltz. Scott had not wanted her to publish this book because he felt it would detract from his own work, for which he was drawing on the same shared experiences as she.

The picture more recently painted of the Fitzgerald's life is one of an alcoholic, jealously controlling husband who was envious of his wife's talent and routinely plagiarized her private writing, and that of a talented wife who chafed under the pressure of her husband's fame and whose creative literary spirit was oppressed. Whatever the case, it is certainly true that their turbulent marriage was fraught with passion--both good and bad.

No matter what else may be said about Zelda Fitzgerald, she was a force to be reckoned with, and she had talent that her husband was intelligent enough to recognize. Her life was filled with struggle and pain, but she left behind the memory of a life lived with voracity.

"Her face was sad and lovely with bright things in it, bright eyes and a bright passionate mouth, but there was an excitement in her voice ... a promise that she had done gay, exciting things just a while since and that there were gay, exciting things hovering in the next hour" Gatsby 33).

Stress Scale – Nerdy Edition (LOTR)

This week has been stressful. The last six weeks have been stressful. Thank you, grad school. But I would rather be here, working hard, than doing anything else in the world. Except maybe chilling with the Brits, seeing the Pope, and touring Europe. I digress.

At the same time, I keep thinking about a piece of paper that hangs in the student workroom at school…it is a stress scale, numbered one to seven, with “one” representing “no stress” and “seven” representing something like “so stressed I could cry.”

It’s a great stress scale, but it doesn’t quite fit my needs. The numbers don’t adequately express the particular brand of stress that I deal with regularly. So, I give you my own twist on the stress scale:

"THE LORD OF THE RINGS" STRESS SCALE

NO STRESS

⇓

1 – Attending a Hobbit birthday party

2 – Left home without a handkerchief

3 – Missing some spoons from my nice silverware set

4 – Feeling like butter scraped across too much bread

5 – Someone doesn’t appreciate, or even know, what “taters” be

6 – Gandalf just told me I inherited the worst gift ever and now I have to destroy it

7 – My friends just decided we are going to try to walk into Mordor

8 – I can feel the Eye of Sauron on me

9 – My life depends on solving a riddle and I definitely can’t think of the answer

10 – I stole treasure from a dragon and now he’s chasing me and wants to eat me

 ⇓

ALL THE STRESS

I like this scale.

Do you think it would be valid to use this as a stress-rating scale for my master’s thesis? It's a tough question.

Singles Awareness Day: A Satire

Happy Singles Awareness Day.

Yes. That's right. I refuse to use the mainstream title of “Valentine’s Day” because I’m trying to bring awareness to a very serious problem.

The Single Person, scientifically known as sola persona, has become extremely scarce in the last few weeks. If we, as a single-minded society, do not act now, we may lose this beautiful and unique species entirely.

Causes of Disappearance

No one in the scientific, medical, social, political, or philosophical fields can pinpoint what exactly is reducing our numbers of sola personae. However, many conspiracy theorists have recently spun ideas which attempt to explain the rapid decline of sola personae seen in the last few weeks.

Some theories implicate the recent presidential election for one western nation as the cause; others, the destruction of delicate ecological systems, including such acts as deforestation and water pollution. One outlandish theory even points to “Valentine’s Day” as the culprit, stating that the emphasis placed on having a sweetheart opposes the survival of the sola personae. In other words, Valentine’s Day is claimed by some to celebrate “togetherness,” or more specifically, “non-singleness,” rather than “singleness.” However, few of the academic elite subscribe to this unlikely proposition.

In the News

Several news pundits from all the major news outlets have commented on the events of the last few days with increasing consternation. Several celebrities have even gone so far as to dedicate 5% of their daily Twitter output to this topic.

Public opinion polls indicate that global warming is the most likely factor causing the decline of Single People.

Scientists the world over are working around the clock the stabilize Single People population numbers, but vigilante groups have formed with the sole purpose of finding and protecting all remaining sola personae. They are scouring the most likely locations Single People will be located in; when they find one, these groups immediately move the Single Person to an undisclosed location where they will be safe from any attempts to change their Facebook relationship status.

Why it Matters

There are countless reasons why we need to SAVE THE SINGLE PEOPLE, several of which I list here:

1.      Future generations deserve to see the members of this species; we need to SAVE THE SINGLE PEOPLE for posterity!

2.      Single People single-handedly have provided inspiration for hundreds of songs, poems, Facebook memes, and characters/character types, namely “The Perpetual Bachelor,” “The Unrequited Lover,” “The Wallflower,” and “The Not Handsome Enough to Tempt Me Potential Dancing Partner.” The disappearance of this species would be a serious loss to art and culture.

3.      Hundreds of people throughout history have turned to Single People (who are typically regarded as “clear-thinking individuals”) when faced with the catastrophic and logic-destroying event known as “falling in love.” The loss of Single People would deprive the world of deep wells of insight and long-suffering-from-listening-to-friends-complain-about-problems-they-would-love-to-have.

4.      Perhaps the most devastating loss ensuing the disappearance of Single People will be that there will be no more third-wheels to provide convenient and awkward foils for cute couples.

What YOU Can Do

There are many ways you can support the cause, such as donating to organizations that support Single People (business models that discourage having a life outside of work) and boycotting those that imperil them (every dating website and app ever).

One of the best things you can do, though, is to be ready to help endangered Single People in your everyday life. If you see a Single Person, you have a duty to humanity to keep him or her safe. Below is a list of steps to take when a Single Person has been sighted.

1.      Approach slowly, hands in the air to show you don’t have an engagement ring, rose, or baked goodies in them.

2.      Speak loudly and in a monotone so that they don’t have any chance of making the mistake of thinking that you care for them any more than a friend.

3.      Say what seems appropriate for the situation, but it is best to start with the phrase, “I’m not here to date you.” If they look particularly agitated, DO NOT imperil the situation by giving them compliments.

4.      Call the proper authorities in your area so that they can tag and track the Single Person you have found.

How to Identify the Sola Persona

There are many indicators that you have found a single person. This list is not inclusive, but bulleted below are some of the major clues:

·         Over the age of 18

·         No ring on the wedding-band finger

·         Facebook relationship status of “single”

·         Eating alone at a restaurant

·         Tell-tale behaviors

o   Female Single People tend to travel in packs, often referred to as “girl squads.” You can tell you have encountered a “girl squad” if you hear certain terms (e.g., “squad goalz,” “a friend tried to set me up recently,” and “I don’t need a man…but it’d sure be nice to have one”) or specific songs (e.g., “Single Ladies” “Hide Away,” and “When Will My Life Begin?” [from Tangled]).

o   Male Single People might produce a facial contortion known as a “smolder” if they believe no one is watching; the “smolder” occurs when they are thinking about how they will never end up with the girl of their dreams as she walks away.

o   Even though Valentine’s Day has no likely connection with the current crisis, Single People tend to act differently when the holiday comes up. They will eat unearthly amounts of ice cream, watch rom-coms, ugly-cry, stay at home, and/or start novenas to St. Anne. This behavior disappears quickly, and symptoms disappear entirely as soon as the discount Valentine’s Day candy at Wal-Mart disappears.

You are more likely to find Single People if you search the places they typically congregate. You can find them alone in their domiciles most evenings, especially on February 14^th. They also gather in quiet corners at parties, but sit together at family gatherings at the unofficial-but-designated-table-for-Single-People.

Thank you for joining the cause and spreading awareness on Singles Awareness Day – because together, we can SAVE THE SINGLE PEOPLE.

The Gift of The Giver

Every human being knows innately that there is something wrong with the world. We should not suffer, or hurt, or die--but we do. Our world is twisted and wrong.

Within the established society of Lois Lowry's The Giver, the wrongness of the world is simply failed humanity that must be corrected. The way in which they choose to perfect their society, however, is immensely disturbing.

The reader learns right along with Jonas, the 12-year-old protagonist, just how twisted his society has become. It begins with little, suspicious things: they teach "precision of language" in school, but do not have words like "home," "marriage," "baby" or "love." It is quickly apparent that his community is ruled with an iron fist, in a way that prevents any type of diversity or individuality so as to eliminate the possibility of conflict. The teenagers and adults take emotion suppressants that dull anything but surface emotions, effectively eliminating any emotional desire.

Parents are also not allowed to procreate. Adults may apply for a spouse, and after they are matched with another by the governing body of the community, they may apply--after a period of three years--for a child. They are assigned an infant to care for, and they are only allowed one boy and one girl. The birth mothers are artificially inseminated and not allowed to see their children. It is exceedingly important to the rulers of the community that any kind of deep, lasting, emotional attachments are not allowed to form, especially regarding children. For example, when Jonas' father--who cares for newchildren--brings one home to aid its development, "Each family member...had been required to sign a pledge that they would not become attached to this little temporary guest, and that they would relinquish him without protest or appeal when he was assigned to his own family unit" (Lowry 42).

When Jonas becomes the Receiver of Memory, he begins to experience--through memories from The Giver--free will. His first memories are of snow and sun, things he has never experienced in his climate-controlled world. In fact, when he begins to discover color, he and The Giver have a very important exchange: "'It isn't fair that nothing has color!' 'Not fair?' The Giver looked at Jonas curiously...'If everything's the same, there aren't any choices! I want to wake up in the morning and decide things!...I know it's not important, what you wear. It doesn't matter. But--' 'It's the choosing that's important, isn't it?' The Giver asked him" (Lowry 98).

Perhaps most importantly, Jonas learns what it means when the elderly or underdeveloped newchildren are 'released.' This knowledge is so overwhelmingly disgusting to Jonas that he can no longer sit idly by and let it continue. It has been made clear to Jonas that the community exists because, in the distant past, there was an event of apocalyptic proportions, and it could never be allowed to happen again. The solution, Jonas realizes, was to 'fix' humanity by taking away free will.

Jonas is unique in his community because, as the Receiver of Memory, he is the only individual with any experience of free will. Thus, he takes it upon himself to restore free will to at least one person. He is able to do this because The Giver gave him more than just memory--he also gave Jonas the ability to feel deeply. Through The Giver, Jonas has experienced joy, pain, wonder, and injustice. With his experience of these emotions, he is able to develop a conscience and determine the difference between right and wrong.

With the gift he received from The Giver, Jonas is able to save a pure, innocent life and possibly change his community forever.

Lowry, Lois. The Giver.  Bantam Doubleday, 1993.