Nursery Rhymes Are Super Creepy

Did your parents ever read you nursery rhymes as a child? You probably were too absorbed in the pretty pictures and fun rhyming to pay attention to context, especially since, at that age, reading comprehension isn't really a thing. But when you actually pay attention to the words...well, nursery rhymes can get super creepy. Let's examine a few:

Peter, Peter, Pumpkin Eater

Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater,
Had a wife and couldn't keep her.
He put her in a pumpkin shell,
And there he kept her very well.

So basically, a dude named Peter can't control his unfaithful wife. Simple enough. But then we get to the last two lines, which can be interpreted in two ways: either A) Peter imprisons his wife in a pumpkin shell, or B) he kills her and buries her inside the pumpkin. Either way, incredibly disturbing. Moving right along...

Ring Around the Rosy

Ring around the rosy,
A pocket full of posies.
Ashes! Ashes!
They all fall down.

This innocent children's rhyme (with accompanying dance) is often interpreted as being about the plague. Yep, plague. The first line is meant to refer to the red sores or rashes victims developed, and posies refer to an herbal remedy--given the time period, I'm inclined to guess poppies, from which opium is derived and which was frequently used as a painkiller. The third & fourth lines refer to the way victims, just before death, took on an ashy pallor and, you know, died. There is some debate as to whether or not this poem is truly a plague reference, given that it didn't pop up until the 1800s--a few hundred years after the plagues. But who's to say it wasn't developed as an historical reference? The next rhyme, too, contains historical references, albeit somewhat murkier.

Georgie Porgie

Georgie Porgie, puddin' and pie,
Kissed the girls and made them cry.
When the boys came out to play,
Georgie Porgie ran away.

This rhyme carries several interpretations, one of the most popular (and scandalous) being a reference to George Villiers, First Duke of Buckingham, and his...ahem...intimate relationship with King Charles I. However, there is no evidence to substantiate the claims of this rumor, so I must leave you to draw your own conclusions.

There is also a theory that the poem references the Great Fire of London, which started in Pudding Lane and reportedly finished at Pye Corner. In this interpretation, the "boys" appear to be the firefighters hurrying to douse the flames, and Georgie Porgie is the arsonist running from the possibility of being caught. I personally do not favor this theory, because (unless some really creative interpretation happened) the second line would make no sense. In any case, my point still stands: disturbing sexual encounters or arson = both creepy.

There are plenty of nursery rhymes that are completely innocent, but there are many other, older ones--such as the ones listed above--that really send a shiver up your spine. I wonder who the authors were, and what possessed them to conceive such morbid poetry.